::Words of Wisdom...

Thursday, June 30, 2005

:: English Mother Fucker... Do You SPEAK It?

Do you ever get the feeling that even though the words coming out of your mouth are english but are reaching the person your talking to in some other language. Sometimes I wonder. I thought that maybe I had a lisp or stammer or perhaps the words sounded English to me on the inside but were really coming out gibberish (there have been documented cases of such things, really) but I've heard my recorded voice... and to boot I get the same response from email/IM replies. The dumb look on their faces like a perplexed puppy... the actions that couldn't possibly come from someone that truly understood the concepts I was trying to relay. I sit and ponder it sometimes and all I can come up with is ... WTF?? It can only be one of two things... Either I'm a poor speaker or I speak above my audience. I spend a good portion of my life on the phone with customers. They seem to understand me ok but its highly technical and straight forward. So still could be either one.. my audience at work is on my level but there is very little room for deviation. Outside of work is where the confusion sets in. I talk, people listen, then I either get the puppy dog look/erratic behavior or I get a proper response and all is right in the world. Hmm.. looking a little more like its the audience at this point, but I could be biased.

Maybe it is a matter of intelligence level.. or rather the assumptions I make on people. I assume they understand English. I assume based on their appearance/age whether or not they can understand simple to complex concepts like time, weather, space, value of a warm beer, and arithmetic. I assume that based on their level of relation to me they will understand certain aspects/quirks about me and my life. I know they are not mind readers but when the sun rises to east and sets in the west every friggin' day for the past millions of years, you are safe to bet its going to do the same tomorrow. So with that I engage in conversation with these assumptions. And sure enough, there is a break down. I'm not direct enough, I am misunderstood, I am given the puppy dog look and I am astonished by it. Where is fault here?
At what point does my words turn to gibberish? Maybe someone already has told me why... and maybe all I did was cock my head to one side and gasp, "HUH?"

:: Finally get the bag of M&M's and all are left are the brown ones

You know what my problem is? I try to hard to please everyone. This only starts a vicious cycle in my life... I try to please everyone, no one can agree on how to be pleased, frustration sets in, I blow up telling everyone to FUCK OFF, frustration subsides, and now we are back to the part where I stride to please everyone. I'm much better off being a hermit, or better yet Emperor of the world.. have some people looking after my daily wants and desires for a change. Now just need to find a way to become emperor of a small country. Thought about America but thanks to good ole Norton, we plugged that loophole up real nice.

I try to be selfish sometimes... to do what I want. It works sometimes, most times it blows up in my face. When the bag of M&M's is passed and finally finds its way into my hands... I'm always left with the brown ones and we all know the brown ones taste like crap.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

:: This So Called Life

Back in the early 90's (seems so far now) I attended college with the best of intentions to change the world for the better. No mountain moving, just doing my part. Had big ideas with motivation to back them up, or so I thought. Fate has a way of changing the course of your life much like a drop of water will careen down a window pane. Even when it seems set on its course, it never ends up where you expect it. A friend of mine once said "Life isn't a bowl of cherries, its a jar of ripe jalepeno peppers... what you do now could burn your ass later." Looking back on my life with this quip of wisdom in mind, I can certainly see where that is true. But you know, no matter how much that pepper may hurt, I'll be the first to eat another as soon as the swelling subsides.

:: What to say in a blog or the new psychotherapy for the masses

Ever wonder how this blog craze got started anyhow? This mix of "getting it off one's chest" and voyeurism as a means of entertainment and possibly even therapy for the soul. To air one's deepest thoughts or random quip for all or none to see. Yeah, me neither.

:: Free Guiness Tomorrow

Probably one of the best adverts I've seen on the side of a pub in a while. The promise of a warm Guiness all for the easy going price of the excercise to drag your happy arse up to the bar. Alas today is not tomorrow and we soon find out Tomorrow never comes because yesterday's tomorrow is today. Oh the vicious cycle of time. Oh Annie makes a good show of it by making it all seem like the best thing since plasma screen televisions with the sun coming out and all... but you can't escape the fact that thinking about tomorrow only makes today drag like molasses. Damned if a free guiness sure doesn't sound like heaven, right? Well, since you're there you might as well have a pint anyhow yeah? We'll try for that piece of heaven again "tomorrow". That'll be £3 please.