So my wife's friend is going camping. I have to say I'm green with envy. Which is funny because she's *snicker* a gardener and gardeners have thumbs *snicker* that are... oh nevermind. I'm jealous. Why you ask? No really ask why? "Why would you be jealous" the collective asked. Well, I'll tell you and thanks for asking. Its not like I'm a serious camper, not even a once a year camper, heck, I can only remember camping one time in my life in an actual tent and it as miserable. Sure I'd been "camping" before.. but when you are a stone's throw from civilization and your tent is a 1000 sq foot cottage that's not camping. Camping is roughing it. Getting back to nature and the neanderthal workings of hunting for your food (fishing mostly), taking it back to your cave (tent) and cooking it over this new thing we discovered (fire). To go hiking and exploring... to survive on your instincts and most importantly to leave the world behind for a short time. No more people, work and the leashes we bear. Ah to be camping... Ok, now you're probably wondering, "If you like it so much why don't you just go already?!" A good question.
Enter the bug magnet, otherwise known as my wife. She is the only person I know that can douse herself in the strongest pesticides known to man and STILL get a bug bite. The two of us could be standing side by side, me clean of any sprays, oils, etc and she doused as usual... SHE will be target of the bloodsucking tyrants of the forest. And of course to top it off, she's just a tad bit allergic. Go figure.
So needless to say the extent of our camping experiences are in the single digits and involve lodges that are a short car ride to the nearest Piggly Wiggly. Now don't get me wrong, there are some hidden advantages to this... I get to do all the gardening (like to garden) and yard work (which may be machoismo of me but I think is a man's job anyway.) So I do get my nature fix but that's about the extent of it.
To her credit, she's been sporting the idea of actually going camping.. real camping but I think its more for my sake than her actual enjoyment of it. But I have yet to get any equipment out of fear that it will sit in the garage with the other artifacts of outdoor enjoyment. *Sigh* So now you can see why I would be envious of the Garden knitter. She is doing what I can only dream of doing. But I'm ok with that. I can live vicariously through her simply because my bug magnet is actually willing to put herself at the mercy of the "let's eat Mrs. T for dinner" bug club for the sake of allowing me one night/weekend of enjoyment. You can't look at that and not say, "Wow, that's great."
Maybe I'll take her up on her willingness one day, when the weather's right and she's recovered from her upcoming tonsilectomy. Who knows maybe she'll enjoy it despite the bugs and will want to make it a regular holiday for us. Right, and on that same day, I'll find the golden ticket to Will Wonka's chocolate factory. Wheeee!!
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4 comments:
Oh my, I always wanted that golden ticket.
It isn't just Amy, I'm a bug magnet as well. I've learned to deal with them though.
I, like you, do all the outdoors work. I don't find it macho of me at all. If my husband were still a manager and not "working his ass off to provide for us", I'd probably do a lot less.
A beautiful outdoors is my way of bringing him home a bunch of flowers I picked along the roadside, but it's daily. I love the way his face looks when something new is completed. When people compliment the grounds, he has such a sparkle in his eye even though he hasn't done any of it.
Oh, and I like the bragging rights it gives me. I'll admit it.
Mrs. T would camp with me. Mr. T is a fan of down home cooking, right? That's what I make! I'll even let you rake up the campsite. =)
you should write a book. you are great at writing.
You want to take her where? I am sure when she said camping she meant like pitching a tent with the 600 thread count egyptian cotton sheets in the living room of the penthouse of the Anatol that you will be staying at while you are visiting me. Yes, that must be it.
Rea-Rea I have neither the time nor patience to write a book. :P But have so many ideas for them.
Alice *snicker* Alice.. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she thought when she agreed to it.. but that's not what came out of her mouth. See post about thought2mouth processing of english language :P But I wouldn't mind camping at the Anatole... You bring the beans'n'franks and I'll bring the marshmallows
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