::Words of Wisdom...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

:: Nature's Revenge

I can't really blame Mother Nature. I mean if someone tried to kill someone close to me I think I would want to exact some form of revenge on them too.
But I would at least attempt to ensure only the person involved was getting theirs, so to speak. Mother Nature isn't so precise or nice about it I guess.

Its not that my wife went out of her way to kill the tree and technically its not dead (yet). She, in her need for cleanliness and to make that is black or green white again, decided to bleach the front walk way. This involved pure bleach to be pour along the walk away, a little scrubbing and hosing the bleach away. The innocent bystander in this drama is the poor mulberry (at least I think its a mulberry, I'm no arborist) who not really knowing the difference in rain water and chlorine rich water drank it up like a Jimmy Jones follower with koolaid. Little did he know he was drinking himself to death. When signs began to show of the tree's demise, paramedics were called in to attempt to resuscitate via two week treatment of thorough watering and feeding of plant food. Its current state is still in question as its still deathly brown but there are shoots of new growth appearing.

Regardless of its condition, the reason for the condition soon fell upon the ears of Mother Nature herself. She examined the circumstances and enacted her justice in the form of the most annoying flock of birds to ever to perch on a branch. Not only are they loud and obnoxious but they are loud and obnoxious at NIGHT! These birds have been charged to sleep all day and wake up and chatter as long and loudly as possible from dusk to dawn. I'm just glad it was one tree as I can only imagine what we would have received for a forest.

I've thought about putting a hose to the birds to chase them off but they are obviously smarter than that... recently they have been holding off on their blaring chattering until the Mrs. and I are snuggled in our bed and drifting to sleep. There has to be some sort of appeals process I can protest to in order to lessen the sentence. She planted flowers out back and though she nearly killed them too, she's been working very hard on keeping them both healthy. That's got to count for something, right? If not for her sake, do it for me, Mother Nature... I'm the one who has to get up at dawn to get ready for work. Sure it makes Mrs. T crabby but she can nap if the kids are allowing.

Guess the only thing I can say is to stay on the good side of Mother Nature, otherwise she's a spiteful bitch.

7 comments:

mr. schprock said...

I don't know if this helps, but I wear earplugs and run a white noise device at night to sleep. The reason: my wife snores. At one point, I used to grab my pillow at 2:00 AM and finish my sleep on the den coach 2 or 3 times a week. Since I've gotten this set-up, I never miss a wink. I've been doing it for about 3 years now.

You can use a regular electric fan for white noise. The device I have goes for about $45.

Mr. T said...

Yes, we are thinking of getting a fan to run in the background. Earplugs are not practical when you have a three year old in the house... maybe if she were older. Then with my luck, I wouldn't hear the alarm. ;)

Scott said...

How about some white noise and a baby monitor? You simply have to do something. The hose will probably give them something to wash with, like the birds do when I turn on my sprinklers.

Beth said...

New shoots are a good thing. I don't think a dying anything will have new growth, but hell, I could be wrong.

It needs daily water and lots of it.

I'm stuck on the tree and not the birds. I told Mrs. T I sleep with a fan. I can't sleep without one.

mr. schprock said...

"Then with my luck, I wouldn't hear the alarm."

Right, you do have to worry about that. It's my wife's job to elbow me when it doesn't wake me up.

Mr. T said...

UPDATE: no birds for the past two nights (that I've heard). Could mean Mrs. T's sentence is over.. or they are truly evil and lulling us into a false sense of security.. hmm.

Unknown said...

To be on the safe side, i would leave an 'offering' to MN. Maybe an old computer mouse left at the base of the Mulberry tree.